Midlife Moments
Making sense of menopause and midlife
If you are experiencing the emotional changes of midlife and menopause this is a space for you
Dr Mandy Deeks is a psychologist, researcher and educator with over 30 years working in the midlife and menopause space. Not only has she studied menopause, she has been going through it herself for 20 years.
Her passion is taking research and knowledge, and putting them into easy to understand online courses, information, practical skills and support. If:
you are starting to feel like your body isn't yours anymore and you aren't sure if menopause is responsible or it's just age?
your emotions are see-sawing all over the place?
you're running hot, can't sleep and brain fog is setting in...
Explore below
Are you in midlife, noticing changes & questioning what has happened to your body, mind & emotions?
Let us help you learn more about your menopause & midlife changes
Free online quiz
Becoming you
again
The midlife & menopause identity reset
quiz
Have you been wondering why you don't quite feel like yourself?
Have you noticed a few changes maybe to your periods or have they stopped altogether?
Are you running hot sometimes, exhausted, and just plain cranky more than you used to be?
This free quiz is a quick check in for women in their late 30s, 40s, 50s & 60s
It will help you to explore how you feel about your mood, body, brain & sleep
Once you work out where you fit, there are some strategies to help in a downloadable guide
It's free & will take about 8-10 minutes to do
Mini-course
Can't sleep, can't think clearly or relax?
The midlife & menopause reset for overwhelm, brain fog & sleep
The first sign your hormones are changing are problems with sleep
As you know, sleep affects so many parts of our life
The next symptom up to 80% of women experience, is brain fog
It's no wonder stress levels then take off
Included in this mini course are 3 videos exploring perimenopause, menopause & midlife, sleep, energy, brain fog and stress
You will also get a workbook to go with the videos full of practical exercises and information
Download & work through at your own pace
4 week online course
Is it me or
menopause?
For all the emotional changes at menopause and when you ask,
'Why don't I feel
like myself?'
Make sense of the emotional, & mental changes of menopause & midlife
For women aged 38+
Self-paced interactive online course
4 modules with videos and workbooks delivered weekly over 4 weeks
Topics include emotions and mood, body image, identity, finding your purpose, confidence & advocating for yourself
Live group Q & A midway through the course to answer questions and hear about other women's experiences
Midlife is the stage of life between 35-65 years.
Perimenopause can start in your 30s, 40s or 50s but is generally around 47 years. It can last between 4-10 years.
Menopause is when it has been 12 months until your last period.
Every woman's experience of menopause is different
Alice
'I don't feel like me. Why can't I pull it together? Why do I feel off? I asked my doctor and he said I was too young for it to be menopause or perimenopause. I want to enjoy this next stage of my life.'
Isabella
'I'm not struggling with symptoms too badly, I am just not sure if I know what I want the rest of my life to be. I used to be confident and know what I want, now I'm not so sure.I had fun when I was young, I've had my kids, now what?'
Sasha
'When I was younger I thought one day out of the blue I would just go through menopause. It seemed scary. Now it doesn't have to be scary and there are people out there that can help you to cope better.'
About Midlife Moments: the what, who, and how
The what
Midlife moments is an education space with short courses, resources,
research and short articles,
things to help you think about where you are up to and where to from here.
The who
Dr Mandy Deeks is a Psychologist with counselling, education and research experience. She has always had a passion for learning about the different ways midlife impacts on our lives, particularly the effects of menopause on mental and emotional health.
The how
Because we are all different and at different stages of life, you will find different ways of exploring midlife. There will be questions to ask yourself, short courses, information to collect, things to listen to and watch.
What this website is
This is a space to explore how midlife may be affecting you and how you can start being kinder yourself. Mental health is personal. We are all individuals and what works for one person doesn't always work for someone else.
What this website isn't
The information and strategies are not intended as a treatment space. If you are struggling with your mental health and it impacts on your day to day living please see your doctor and put some things in place to feel better. There are also some suggested places you can go for more help in the resources section.
Courses
"Becoming you again: the midlife & menopause reset quiz"
Free quiz & short workbook
Can't sleep, think clearly or relax? The midlife & menopause reset for overwhelm, brain fog & sleep"
Mini online interactive course
4 modules including videos & workbook
Do at your own pace
$37
"Is it me or menopause?"
For all the emotional changes at menopause and when you ask, 'Why don't I feel like myself?'
Coming June 2026
A short course on the effects menopause and age have on mood, body image, confidence, patience, and tolerance for BS.
4 modules delivered weekly in short video form with an accompanying workbook each week. Created and presented by Dr Mandy Deeks a psychologist, researcher and educator with over 30 years experience in the menopause and midlife space.
Self-paced, this will be an opportunity to learn about the effects perimenopause and menopause has on you, what else might be going on that impacts on your mood, and most importantly, strategies and resources to try.
2 live group Q & As to share information and stories where you can contribute or just watch and listen (optional).
Resources to explore your thoughts and feelings
What story do you tell yourself?
The experiences you have had and the beliefs you hold affect how you operate in the world, how you show up, and the way you view the world. This can end up as the stories you tell yourself, which in turn can affect the choices you make, the people you hang around with, the meaning you give to your life. You may tell yourself you are not good enough or you don't deserve love for eg.
What are your stories? Are you carrying stories that aren't actually yours to carry? What stories might you want to let go of?
Check out the examples below of the different stories we tell ourselves. If you would like to, you can just think about (or journal) your answers to the questions that follow.
The 'what is my purpose'
story
What makes your life feel important to you? What gives your life meaning and what do you want to be remembered for?
These are big questions and it is often hard to know where to start. Yet purpose in life is important to our mental health, wellbeing and overall quality of life. We know that if we have purpose in our life we are less likely to have illness, be depressed and are more motivated to get out of bed every day. If you are stuck you may want to think about the following questions?
Your purpose story:
1. What is the theme of your life? For e..g. your colours, theme music, movies, books...?
2. What matters most to you?
3. Who relies on you?
4. Who inspires you?
5. What gets you out of bed in the morning?
6. What causes do you care about?
7. What are your 'be' goals? For e.g. who do you want to be...a good friend, leader, teacher, fun loving, carefree, a difference maker?
8. What are your 'do' goals? It can be helpful to align your do goals with your be goals. For e.g. if you want to be a difference maker how can you do that?
Your story about
confidence
Self confidence is having the belief in yourself that you can accomplish things.
It is believing you can make the right choices for you, your health and your life.
Having confidence in who you are helps you to be mentally stronger.
People who believe in themselves tend to have less sickness and better mental health. How confident are you? Do you believe in yourself?
Your confidence story:
1. Would you say you are a confident person?
2. Think about what affects your confidence in different situations and at different times?
3. Think of someone who you see as confident and list the things that make them appear confident.
4. Do you stop yourself from doing things because you lack confidence? If so, what have you stopped yourself from doing?
5. Looking at the list below which areas of your life do you lack confidence. Choose 1 or 2 areas and write about your thoughts and feelings:
Friendships
Relationships
Work/study
Managing money
My health
My body
Completing tasks
The story I tell myself about my body
Body image is what you think, feel and how you picture your body. How you think you look and how you think society, friends and families think you look can impact on your mental health. Media, social media, comments from others and just looking at images of models can affect negative feelings in as little as two minutes. Two thirds of people are dissatisfied with the way their bodies look, and frequently feel guilty about eating.
Your body image story:
1. How do you picture your body?
2. What do you think about your body?
3. How do you feel about your body?
4. As you were growing up, what were the messages about your body that you heard?
5. As you were growing up, did other people in your life comment on their own bodies in a negative way?
6. Do other people's comments about your body affect you?
7. When you look at pictures of people who you think have beautiful bodies, what do you see?
8. List 3 things you love about your body.
Places to visit if you need more help & information
Australasian Menopause Society is a place for health professionals and consumers to look at the latest knowledge and resources about perimenopause and menopause. Here you will find assessment tools, fact sheets and videos to learn more about menopause and most importantly what's happening for you.
The Menopause Society is an independent evidence-based resource for the public, health professionals, researchers and the media on all things menopause. Based in the US it has members from all over the world. Here you will find guidebooks, videos and podcasts.
Jean Hailes was a medical practitioner who wanted to improve the lives of women and she started the first menopause focused practice in Australia. Jean Hailes the organisation is a women's health organisation that focuses on research, clinical care and policy. They have information and tools to help you understand the changes to expect around menopause including fact sheets in many different languages.
Beyond Blue If you are wondering whether you have anxiety or depression or both, have a look at the resources and information on the beyondblue website.
Mindspot is part of Macquarie Health, Macquarie University. It is a free digital psychological website where you can do a depression or anxiety quiz and then get help with appropriate treatments if you need.
Interesting Research
Humans peak in overall functioning in midlife
Some positive news about getting older! While reasoning, memory and speed of processing of information tend to peak between the ages of 18-22yrs, this study found that overall functioning peaks in midlife around the age 55-60yrs. This includes things like emotional intelligence, moral reasoning and financial literacy. It is suggested this period of midlife may be the best time for roles such as in leadership and where emotional intelligence is important.
Gilles E. Gignaca, MJ.(2025) Humans peak in midlife: A combined cognitive and personality trait perspective. Intelligence, September, 101961.
Self-compassion in weight managment
Being kind to oneself when times are difficult and stressful may help people who are struggling with their weight management. In those studies where participants practised self-compassion, there were improvements in eating behaviours, physical activity behaviours and weight loss. Even more importantly these improvements were maintained in follow ups of those in the physical activity study.
Brenton-Peters et al. (2021). Self-compassion in weight management: A systematic review. Nov:150:110617. doi: 10.1016/j.jpsychores.2021.110617. Epub 2021 Sep 16.
Sleep quality and postmenopause
Many menopausal women report that sleep is one of the biggest things they struggle with.
This study of Indonesian women found that while stress and menopause symptoms together had the most impact on sleep quality, age, education level, anxiety level, and whether women had good social supports were also found to be important considerations to explore. This finding would make sense to a lot of menopausal women!
Susanti HD et al. (2025). Unraveling the factors shaping sleep quality among postmenopasual women in Indonesia. Sleep Science, 18(4):387-396.
Midlife Thoughts
"You can't pour from
an empty cup."
-Norm Kelly
Self before others
"It's not your job to like me,
it's mine"
-Byron Katie
LIKE ME
"Talk to yourself like you would
talk to someone you love"
-Brene` Brown
TALK TO YOURSELF
Email:[email protected]
This website is for educational purposes only and is not a replacement for medical advice. If you are struggling with your physical or mental health please seek medical advice.